Chiken Man Administrator Creator that pwned your mom member is offline
Joined: Jun 2005 Posts: 503 Karma: 8,388,607
Third Story ^_^ (part uno) « Result #4 on Feb 16, 2006, 5:20pm »
Yes i know that you cant get any stupider, but im going to try. this isnt the normal yada-yada intro paragraph where i tell you what will happen in the story, because i honestly have no idea what will happen in this story, in other words... im going to wing it. and off we go...
it was a normal day of schoolfor chiken man (thats right, chiken man goes to school.... whats up now?!?!?) anyways, it was a normal day of school for chiken man until he got to lunch... once he got to the cafeteria he noticed that chuck norris was there and he was eating what looked like gatorade bottles from a distance... but as chiken man got closer he realized that they weren't gatoraid bottles.... THEY WERE BABY PARTS!!!! chiken man was so disgusted that he wanted to kill chuck norris... he went over and yelled "YO CHUCK NORRIS! I CHALLANGE YOU TO A DUEL!!" chuck norris just looked over and replied with "Why dont you go buy a total gym before i roundhouse kick you to the face". Chiken Man went off in a rant, but before he knew it he was laying in a hospital critical care unit with a bunch of doctors watching him carefully to make sure he would be alrite. The doctors were amazed when he awoke, but they managed to say "HOLY JEEPERS! your alive... your the first person ever to survive a round house kick to the face from chuck norris, but the bad thing is that youve been in acoma for over a year and you owe us more than bill gates has..." Chiken man was all like WTF!?, and because he is a super hero(kind of) he just jumped up all fine and dandy, then flew out of the hospital to hunt for chuck norris...
When chiken man got back to his HQ he realized that he needed to come out of retirement so he could use his old weapons and stuff. Whenever he got to the old hangar, he was confronted by the Leprechaun Mafia. He wandered to himself..."when did they get here?"... but before he could say anything they said "So mister... what business do you have hereat the secret hangat of chiken mans stuff?". chiken man replied with "Im Chiken Man you retards... and i need my old stuff back so i can come out of retirement and kick chuck norrises ass" the mafia leprechaunslooked at each other and nodded there heads and said "OK but your going to have to doa test before you get your stuff back, yout going to have to get us a... CAN OF TUNA FROM THE TUNA STORE!!!" chiken man just looked around and said "OH nutsf word! I DONT LIKE TUNA"
Before he decided to go and get the tuna, chiken man had to get his "De-Fish-Smell-Odorizer-Thing-That-Wont-Let-You-Die-From-Toucing-Fishies ($9.99 at your local argeflobin store, yay for random inserts of random non-real items!) After he grabbed it he headed towards Cudansville, Once he got there he saw the tuna store. As he went in he saw the cashier and he stopped to think "Why is a green elephant selling tuna?"... but he realized it wouldnt matter what he thought so he just continued on with the story. Chiken man went up to the elephant and said "Do you have any tuna for sale?"the elephant responded with "Nope sorry, but we just got in a shipment of cupcakes that apparently have 1 can of tuna in one of them...". so chiken man was feeling hungry at the time so he went ahead and ate every single cupcake that was there. Once he got to the last one he was so happy, he tore it appart to find a can of tuna, so he grabbed it and went back to his secret compound of secret stuff. Once he got there he met up with the leprechaun mafia once again and said "Shigidy Shigidy Shwack, Chiken Man's back" the leprechaun's just looked at each other confused and finally said "Uhh... Ok.... but do you have the goods?" and after some more random convorsationing chiken man was once again able to be a super hero so he could kick chuck norrises ass leagally.
Once he got his stuff he realized that his stuff was old and he would never be able to win with the stuff that he holds at this point in time. so he went off to find Mandy, wich is one of the best people to find on the black amrket for random items (wooo more random items). Once he found her he said "HEY! i need your help to kick chuck norrises ass", she replied with "What kind of help do you need? if you need items, ill go check on the back". and because she is so super all knowing, she didnt wait for chiken man to respond, so she went into the back and brought out a handfull a random items for chiken man which included: A razor Cannon(cause we all know chuck norris cant do anythring without his beard) and baby grenades (Chuck norris loves those babys). So after he got the stuff he skipped along the yellow brick road to get to grandmas house, but as he was skipping along he saw a straw house, and stic house, and a metal house all torn apart and they had pig bones all through them. So chiken became more carefull. but finnaly he reached his grandmas house, but as he went inside, he saw his grandmas bones all over the place and some one laying in her bed. AS he got closer he said "Hey who are you and what did you do with my grandma?". All of the sudden a very demonic like voice said "I WANT YOUR SOUL!" and then chuck norris popped and lunged at chiken man, but as you all know chiken man is "The One" so he busted out his matrix type moves and then threw a baby grenade into the corner. Chuck Norris ran over and started to chow down, and then chicken man pulled out the razor cannon and shot it at chuck norris. as chiken man shot the cannon chuck norris looked over and BAM! there went his beard. Chuck Norris was so ashamed so he ran off into the woods cause he knew he couldnt win.
Chiken Man went home after he defeated chuck norris (or so he thought) about a week after chuck norrises humiliating defeat, chiken man was all over the news, But one day when he got home he saw a bunch of boxes in his yard and a note on his front dorr that said :
Dear Chiken Man After my humiliating defeat the other dat i realized that i should make your life a living hell, so ive sent you 100 normal total gyms and a special one made out of your parent bones, OH and you owe us $49,950 a month for teh total gyms Sincerly Chuck Norris
Chicken man didnt know what esle to do so he just satarted stumbling around and decided to do the only right thing to do at the point a "Cliff Hanger" in a 2 part story. S he fell to his knees and a lound "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" came from his mouth
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